Saturday, August 27, 2011


I have been so very blessed in my life......God has given me so much to enjoy, so much grace and love.
Two of my biggest blessings are my  sisters. I call them sister-friends.  We have had so much fun together. When the three of us are fortunate enough to be spending time together it is a very special time.

We go back into another life.....way back to a time when life was so much simpler, harder but simpler.
We were a family of seven, 3 girls, 2 boys, and mom & dad.  I was the middle child with two younger brothers and two older sisters.  That was a difficult spot to be in!

We've been through so much together....marriages, divorces, pregnancy and childbirth, loss of our brothers and parents.  I reminded them last year that we are more than sisters now; we are our parents, our brothers, and our past all wrapped up together. Our friendship and relationship as sisters is golden.  It is sacred. 

They are exactly two years apart in age. Now that was some real timing on mom and dad's behalf.  When we were very young, mom would often dress them alike.  Then they got older and found their individuality. Next week we'll be celebrating their birthdays. We'll all be together and that's always a special treat.  

My sisters stood by me last year during the most difficult period of my life. They were there for surgery and  chemo, wig shopping and beyond.  We spent time together, we laughed and we cried.   We hugged and we loved our way right through the year.  They understood me when no one else did.  We shared it all.  

After my final surgery and chemo was complete, we went to the beach together.  It was the very first time we've all had a beach vacation together. We'd talked about doing it forever and we finally did!  We had a wonderful time together; we watched the sting rays swim up the beach each morning as we dined on the terrace.   We walked on the beach often holding hands.  We enjoyed some beautiful sunsets.
On our last day, we built a big sandcastle. That was such fun.  I was sore for days from all the hard work. 

So, my dearest sister-friends, as we get ready to celebrate your special days....know that you are so very dear to me.  I love you both with all my heart.  You are two of my greatest blessings.  You are such a huge part of my world.  I am thankful for you and the love and friendship we share.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


I'm beginning to think that I have "bloggers block"!!!!  When I first began to blog it was intended to be focused on breast cancer; I wanted it to be inspirational and uplifting!  Problem is I don't always feel positive and inspired when I want to write.  Sometimes I feel tired; other times I feel uncertain.   We all have good days and bad days; its part of life.  Its all o.k.

Today was a "bad day".  Although I got up and walked my two hours in the early a.m., I just never could get my groove on.  I feel tired and totally exhausted.  I realize its probably the tamoxifen.  However, I also realize it could be so many other things; it could be emotional and/or the foods I've been eating.  That chocolate ice cream cone last evening was mighty good but it sure wasn't what my body needed! But then, its not all about need, is it?

I read an obituary yesterday of a 55 year old that lost her life to breast cancer.  I didn't know her personally but she lived in the same town that I grew up in.  She was a mother, grandmother, wife, business person, and she was a breast cancer victim.  I just haven't been able to get it out of my head.  I keep thinking of her family, the loss they feel.  I wonder what her diagnosis was, how many nodes were involved, her stage...and so on.  I wonder how long she battled the disease and all the particulars about it!  She was a beautiful lady and I know she will be dearly missed.

My heart broke last year when Elizabeth Edward's lost her battle.  She was such a warrior.  She had endured so much in her personal life and it seemed so unfair that she would have to fight breast cancer as well.  But then, life is not always fair.  Its not always easy.  It is what it is, and we just have to try and make the best of it.

So, whether we are making our way through chemo, recovering from surgery or on the losing end and in hospice care........we need to have courage; we need to have faith; we need to have love. 

I certainly don't know if breast cancer will take my life but I do know that something will!  This life isn't meant to last  forever and we must try to live in the moment, in the now!  We must try and have grace and dignity whatever our circumstances.  This is the legacy we will leave for our loved ones!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


A wren has built a nest in one of my large ferns.  There were three tiny eggs in it; I've been checking it on a regular basis and trying to make sure I don't water near it. Today I looked in and there are the tiniest of baby chicks in there! They must have hatched last night.  When the little bird raised its head and opened its beak, I was in awe at how life happens and how very fragile it really is.

We got another phone call a few weeks ago from our daughter.  I knew when she asked me to put her father on what she had to tell us.  She is pregnant!  I am so happy for the both of them; she wants to be a mother so bad. She had a miscarriage earlier in the year and wanted to get pregnant again right away....and so she did!

One of the greatest miracles of this world is to have a new life growing inside you.  Even though you do everything imaginable to prepare for this new little one, there is no preparing for how it will change your life. You feel love in a way you never did before; it is different from the way you love your spouse or your parents. It takes love to a whole new level.

New life, babies of any kind are so cute.  However, they all grow up.  And then we grow old (if we're fortunate). See, the thing about life is, once we're born, we live our lives and don't usually know how long we have here.....Its a good thing we don't know our destiny. We would worry and try to change the outcome of our life.

My husband is at another funeral this morning; his aunt died of cancer. She was his father's sister.  He shared how he was sorry that he hadn't visited her and spent some time together.  She seemed to be a very special lady he said.  You see, we get so caught up in "living" that we often miss out on the people  that can bring us so much joy and love.  Then, when its over....well, there is no going back.   We can't change the past but we can change how we live the rest of our life.

Life is a continuous cycle. We are born, we live and we die. That's just the way its suppose to be.  I certainly don't know the destiny of the tiny little birds in the nest. I hope they grow and flourish; I hope they fly!  I don't know the destiny of my new little grand child. I know it will be loved and cared for in a wonderful way. 

Today I celebrate new life! Whether its a survivor getting a new chance at life, a new baby chick, or a newborn babe, its all a miracle to me.  Its all to be celebrated. Its all to be rejoiced!