Monday, January 4, 2016
I spotted this beautiful double rainbow in the valley behind our house. My soul sings every time I see this array of colors in the sky. There is just something about them that fills my heart with HOPE, that reminds me that no matter what we are going through, there are always blessings to be had. Period.
Life can be just plain difficult at times. There is no denying that. I believe that when we accept this fact, when we understand that there will be good times as well as bad, then we have a greater peace. We understand that all things pass. When we are enjoying the good times....then enjoy them! Because they won't last forever. When we are in the valley, just keep on walking. You will find your way to that mountaintop someday. As my momma would have said, "mark my words".....Life constantly changes. We constantly change. Life's events, our trials and tribulations change us daily.
We learn. We grow. We gain insight and wisdom. We become better individuals because of our challenges.
Breast cancer changed me more than any other life event I have experienced. And I have had several that absolutely shook my world and broke my heart. I have had great losses of family, tragedies that I have never fully accepted or understood. But when I went on that dark journey of breast cancer, it changed me from the inside out. Oh, it didn't happen overnight. It took months and years after completing treatment to make sense of my emotions, to finally grasp what had taken place in my body both physically and emotionally.
I believe I am a much better person, a stronger person who needs less and loves more. I no longer keep people in my circle because that's where they've always been. I'm willing to let go....even if it hurts. I accept my mortality....whether it breast cancer or another unknown. We're not meant to be here forever and I'm at peace with that. I accept myself in all my faults, my short comings, and mistakes. No one is perfect. I have a right to JOY and everything good that life has to offer. I respect myself and expect others to do the same. I understand that my journey is mine alone and others may not "get" where I am. I'm okay with that. I am more grateful and I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been. I find joy and peace every single day....no matter what I am worried about or dealing with. I know that life is short and we don't get a second chance. At least, not here on earth. And I'm okay with that too. In fact, I'm okay with just about everything. It's called PEACE.